We all spend a lot of our time at work. With short deadlines, big personalities, occasional mistakes and the frustrations of technology, there are times when we could find ourselves feeling as though we want to throw the desktop out of the window! For times like these, it’s important to learn how to remain cool, calm and collected even in the most frustrating of situations. Here are some tips to achieve this:
1. Don’t make it personal. It’s important to play the long game where workplaces are concerned. Remember, if you fall out with a colleague then you still have to work together the next day! Where conflicts like this arise – and cannot be resolved – the only inevitable ending is that one person ends up leaving so if there’s a problem then it’s best to avoid getting personal, calling names and making deep personal insults. Instead, just focus on the practicalities of the situation – what actually happened and what can be done to resolve it.
2. Consider why you are really getting angry! Rage is normally the outside manifestation of something much deeper and understanding what it is that is motivating you to have a rock n roll moment with the computer monitor is key to avoiding it making life difficult for you. Are you scared about losing your job? Or do you feel like your suggestions are always dismissed? Is your boss excluding you from the team or are you simply bored with the role and looking for a way out? Find out what’s really going on and deal with that.
3. Are you communicating clearly? Many of the world’s biggest disputes have arisen over a misunderstanding so make sure that, if you’re in a conflict situation with a colleague, they haven’t simply got the wrong end of the stick. To do this you really need to take the emotion out of it, calmly make your points and ask them why they have a problem with that. If you can have a rational conversation, rather than a heated discussion, you can reason with each other rather than point scoring. Keep in mind that conflicts can be resolved much more easily in person – avoid trying to do this over email.
4. Switch perspective. The easiest way to calm down if you’re feeling seriously angry with a colleague is to step into their shoes. Try to understand why they’re doing what they’re doing – if they’re embarrassed or scared then it doesn’t make what they’re doing right but you might be able to understand why they’re behaving in the way they are and then diffuse the situation.
5. Calm the red mist. The key element to anger management is that moment when the red mist descends – rather than letting it carry you away try to detach from it. Take some deep breaths and focus only on your breathing for several minutes, remove yourself from the situation and do something else until the anger subsides, have a (non-caffeinated) cup of tea or squeeze a stress ball. All of these can get you past the crucial moment when conflict can arise.
If you feel like you need help with your anger, how about trying hypnotherapy, exercise, massage, or counselling to help? You can find all of these practitioners right here in our offices to rent Milton Keynes iCentre. Just pop along to the Bucks Biz Community Facebook Group to get to know the other businesses renting workshop space to rent with us. Or scroll through the blog and check out our 'Meet The Neighbours' posts.
Stay calm, and have a great day!